So we have had a crazy couple of weeks. I won't bore you in one post with all of the details. It will be far better if I took a number of posts to bore you with the details!
We recently went on holiday, looking for some respite and relaxation close to family. Before this, I was digging my way through the practicalities of setting up a social enterprise, loving the theory, excited at the possibilities, but very much feeling out of my depth when it came to the technical side. I'll admit I'm not a very practical guy, I like theology, philosophy, thinking, sitting, talking about stuff: your typical daydreamer! Which, I admit, might be a nice way of putting your typical lazy beggar. I hope this isn't the case. I'm pretty self-motivated, and able to work consistently and hard at whatever sitting, philosophising, theologizing etc. etc. I'm presently doing. And I have worked really hard at putting bones on the vision. I can see it in the future, see that slice of God's kingdom growing, see some of the how and the why and the what of it.
However.
I've also seen my complete lack of technical ability, and hit a wall before the holiday when it came to business plan specifics. I looked at my previous experience, my own skill set, and was forced to ask myself why I thought I should be the one to take this forward.
And I didn't have an answer.
So feeling pretty despondent, we went away. The holiday turned out to be far less than relaxing, with Judah screaming most nights and a real sense of heaviness that seem to accompany us. I had some great time to pray and seek the Lord, and Jeanette and I had some great conversations, and an evening of prayer together which was very precious.
It wasn't until we returned home when I was reminded, and I can't even remember by whom, that we do what we do because God says so, not because we are equipped, but because he is sovereign. There is a great Song on the new Social Club album "Us", called Carpe Diem, which I mis-heard to say "it's not about how good you are but about how good He is to me". I like that.
He is good, so we walk on, dark vallys and shadows and death and all that.
So we will keep going, daily, trusting Him for every step.
